Menopause, Sexuality and Hairstyles

Throughout her life, Fran's segue from one age to another has always been marked by a drastic change of hairstyle - usually a complete crop - but turning fifty and being menopausal was a rite of passage that passed without a dramatic visit to a hairdresser.

"Why?" laughs Fran. "I guess it had something to do with my not wanting to draw attention to myself and not wanting to threaten my husband."

"I just started to wear my hair up - yes, in a bun," laughs Fran. "And this act, in itself, was a rite of age I think in that I was consciously or otherwise acting my age, or what I imagined I thought everybody else expected me to do."

"You see," explains Fran, "I've always associated a very short hair cut with sexuality. When I feel sexy and alive and I want to draw attention to myself I cut my hair."

"I just don't think being fifty and menopausal is sexy  - and my husband shares that attitude," says Fran, "and I guess that's why I don't want to mark my passage into the fifties with a drastic hair cut."

"I know that men think long, flowing hair is sexy, but to me it doesn't. I think long hair worn loose - or in a pony tail - is casual, natural and sort of childlike."

"Mostly, I've always worn my hair like that and nobody has taken much notice of me," says Fran, "and I'd carry on wearing my hair like that but turning fifty made me want to do something different with my hair - but I just didn't think that a sexy short crop was appropriate."

"And that's why I've resorted to a bun!"

"I had my very first short hair cut when I was twelve," laughs Fran. "No, I didn't feel sexy - I didn't even know what sex was at that age - but I very much wanted to break away from the little girl image of long hair and ribbons and I kicked up a fuss until my dad agreed to take me into town to get my hair cut."

"I thought my new cropped hair looked terrific," says Fran, "but when my dad came to pick me up he went ballistic - telling the poor hairdresser that she had shorn me like a sheep."

"After that, I didn't go back to a hairdresser for a cut until I was eighteen and had left home," says Fran. "It wasn't the haircut that traumatized me but my dad's reaction to it!"

"At eighteen I not only celebrated my freedom by having my hair cropped but I also went blonde," laughs Fran. "Actually, I went pink - and then green when a dye went wrong - but by the 70s everyone was doing funny things with their hair and it didn't matter."

"I kept my hair short for a long time - during my years of sexual exploration," explains Fran, "and then I grew it when I met my husband. He loved long hair and to celebrate my marriage at 25 I wore a hairpiece to give my growing hair a bit of help!"

"At thirty I marked the rite of age by having my waist length straight hair permed," laughs Fran. "The hairdresser strongly advised me not to do it - and so did my husband - but I needed to do something to make me feel different."

"From then on until I was 39 I kept my hair long - just like daddy and my husband wanted it," says Fran, "but the approach of the big 40 was a rite of age that really shifted me."

"Wearing my long hair loose - or in a pony tail - was suitable for the type of life I had led - a frazzled working wife and mother," says Fran, "but this casual, natural and childlike style that my daddy and husband loved so much just didn't match what I was feeling inside."

"By the time I was 39 I was a sexual dynamo," laughs Fran, "and to mark my 40th birthday I went to the best stylist in town and cropped the lot off!"

"It took ten years off my age," says Fran, "and attracted guys ten years younger than myself, too!"

"I wore my hair short and sassy until I was about 48 and losing a bit of sexual steam," says Fran, "and then I suddenly started letting my hair grow again - only this time around it wasn't as thick and glossy as I remembered it, and it was flecked with a bit of grey, too."

"Funny thing, my dad, husband and son didn't even notice that I was growing my hair again - but my daughter did," laughs Fran. "Apparently, men only appreciate long flowing locks on kids and young women!"

"Ironic, isn't it?" says Fran. "At an age when I no longer wanted a short, sassy hair cut, it was no longer appropriate or attractive for me to have long hair - that's my daughter's style now - and that's why I'm wearing my hair in an old lady bun!"

"Maybe at 60 I'll have a burst of sexual energy that'll make me want a gray crew cut or something," laughs Fran. "That'll be something to look forward to and my husband to fear!"