lumpen masses

As more and more of our rights are eroded, Benita wonders how we -- the descendants of strong, brave and lithe people who once beheaded imperious kings, toppled incompetent governments and struck out on their own for independence -- could have degenerated into such weak, cowardly, acquiescent and lumpen citizens.

"I'm like everyone else -- I admit to being a weak, cowardly citizen and a lumpy one, too," laughs Benita. "For years I have put up with rude behavior from government officials paid from my taxes to serve me. I have put up with being ignored by my representative and by government departments. I have put up with endless queues and cameras everywhere spying on me. And, I have put up with an ever increasing spate of laws designed to rob me of my freedom to live my life as I please. -- and I deal with my anger by eating something nice because I'm powerless."

"Once, governments took notice of protests and marches and complaints from its citizens because if it didn't it wouldn't last long," says Benita, "but these days it can afford to treat citizens with disdain because we are no longer their master and, let's face it, we're all too fat and lazy to get off our couches."

"The notion that we elect governments is an illusion," says Benita. "Whichever party wins is a puppet of global gnomes and, rather than being proud citizens, we are nothing more than glorified slaves -- fat lumps in cubicles."

"Nobody knows exactly who these global gnomes are," says Benita, "but they most certainly exist -- they are not figments of the imagination of conspiracy theorists."

"Some say that they are the remnants of the old royal families, headed by Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh -- he who wants to reincarnate as a virus and wipe out half the human race -- but my belief is that the gnomes are international bankers and industrialists who want to break down nationalism, open all borders and reduce all of us to a common denomination of weak, cowardly drones."

"In other words, we're heading back to something similar to feudal times."

"Immigration, or population-shifting as it was once known in ancient times, is a time-honored way in which despots weaken dissent among local populations and strengthen their power," explains Benita, "and it has been used with spectacular success in recent times for the same purpose."

"Why do you think that Europe has seen a massive population shift -- with Europeans emigrating in droves to Canada, South America and Australia as non-Europeans immigrants moved in?" says Benita. "And why do you think that despite our protests, the Mexican border remains virtually open?"

"When every second person you meet is from somewhere else and desperately trying to settle down and make a new life for themselves, we are sunk," says Benita. "These new citizens are not interested in 'rights' because they probably had none where they came from, and they go out of their way to disapprove or make us feel guilty when we complain about the erosion of our rights."

"We are not a cohesive citizenry any more," sighs Benita. "We have been divided, weakened and conquered by our own government, and now it can afford to relax and enact whatever draconian measure it wants to because it knows that every second person is NOT going to support a rebellion."

"Maybe what we need is a famine to slim us all down and then we might be able to roll some heads again!"

This story first appeared as weak, cowardly citizens