dragons vs. mammoths

At a neighbor's BBQ party one weekend Dione was sitting apart from the crowd, minding her own business and having a smoke when she was approached by a little boy -- whose parents she didn't know -- who asked if she was a dragon.

"I had to laugh because obviously the little boy had never seen anyone smoking before," says Dione, "but when I asked who his parents were and checked them out it was apparent that they had deliberately used him to make me feel uncomfortable. They were looking at us and snickering, their blubberous bodies shaking with mirth."

"The little boy was too young to understand the derogatory meaning of the dragon word and I wasn't going to make a fuss of the incident," says Dione, "yet it's interesting how smoking has become so non-PC around the western world that whole generations of kids are growing up not knowing what a cigarette is (but accepting obesity as normal)."

"For their sake being unfamiliar with cigarettes is probably a good thing," says Dione, "but for this little boy whose parents were not only obese but drunk at 4pm and likely to drive home even more over the legal limit than they were already I wondered how better off he would be in the New World Order providing, of course, he lives long enough at the hands of his parents to experience it."

"When adult anti-smokers argue that if God wanted us to smoke he would have made us with a chimney, it's easy to retaliate," says Dione, "but what do you say to a little boy when he asks: why are you breathing smoke, are you a dragon?"

"I was in a good mood and had time to spare so I asked him if he had ever been in an airplane -- yes -- and then I asked him if it made him feel like he was flying like a bird -- yes -- and then I asked him if he was a bird and he replied -- of course not, I'm a boy."

"Is that because you're not flying now, I asked him, and he replied yes, I'm only a bird when I fly in an airplane."

"Well, I said to him, I'm only a dragon when I smoke."

"He thought that was cool and seemed satisfied and not wanting to be accused of perverting the minds of little children I told him to go back to his mommy."

"That night I thought about all the things we do that God never intended us to do," says Dione, "and came to the conclusion that if smoking is the Devil's work then what on earth isn't?"

"I'm presuming here, of course, that the anti-smoking crusaders are religious fanatics," says Dione. "I have no idea who they are apart from the fact that the ASH organization was started by the lawyer who sued the tobacco companies -- John Banzhaf -- who, incidentally, is now going after the fat food companies so watch out little boy's mom, you're next!"

"I can picture little boy's mom at a BBQ in, say, the year 2020," says Dione. "She's sitting there apart from the crowd, minding her own business and a little boy who's never seen a fat lady asks his slim mom what is that thing over there and mom replies -- it's a mammoth!"

"I hope the mammoth lady has as much aplomb as the dragon lady when the little boy approaches her and asks the inevitable question," laughs Dione. "Chances are she wouldn't even know what a mammoth was but after years of dirty looks and snickers about her weight she would understand clearly what was meant."

"Don't take me wrong, I'm not being mean to overweight people," explains Dione. "Most of them are happy fatties, nice to be around, it's just the PC slobs who think they're better than I am that annoy me."

"And I'm not being mean about people who drink to excess either," explains Dione. "I just don't think they should be getting plastered around children, especially when they have to drive a child home."

"Normally I wouldn't smoke when children are around -- and I didn't expect any at my neighbor's BBQ," says Dione. "I was told later that the couple with the little boy were friends of friends who hadn't really been invited, so I'm NOT going to apologize for smoking in the open air within view of a child."

"Frankly, I can't believe that the time has come when I feel threatened by these situations," sighs Dione. "I suppose I've had years of warnings that the anti-smokers were gaining ground, but somehow I thought sanity would prevail."

"You read books about what happened in Germany when Hitler came to power and you think: why didn't the Jews leave Germany when the insults and vilification started? If they couldn't sell their homes and businesses then why didn't they just save their lives and run? Were they suckers for punishment, or what?"

"I guess they thought that sanity would prevail, too," sighs Dione. "They never thought that their friends, neighbors and work colleagues would be silly enough to swallow all the anti-Jewish propaganda that the Third Reich churned out. Well, they were wrong, weren't they?"

"Just like the Nazi's used insulting and hate-provoking pictures to poison the minds of law-abiding German Christians -- showing Jews with hook noses, greasy hair and ugly faces -- along with lurid propaganda accusing Jews of polluting the German race," sighs Dione, "the anti-smoking crusaders are using similar hate-provoking pictures of diseased smokers along with equally nasty propaganda about passive smoking to poison the minds of non-smokers against smokers."

"And they are doing their most destructive work in schools, teaching kids to rip cigarettes out of their parents' mouths and reporting them for child abuse," says Dione. "Watch out for a new Hitler Youth emerging -- and they're definitely out to get the fatties next!"

"The modus operandi of the anti-smoking crusaders is so similar to that of the Nazis that I'm amazed the Holocaust Survivors haven't come out in vocal protest -- whether they smoke or not."

"If law-abiding German Christians could stand by like sheep while Jews -- and then homosexuals, the disabled, gypsies and political dissenters -- were victimized and then exterminated in gas chambers, then I have no doubt that our people will similarly stand by like sheep while smokers -- and then fatties, SUV owners, gun owners, political dissenters and you name it, probably the old and disabled as well -- are similarly victimized and possibly exterminated, too."

"So far, most of my friends, neighbors and work colleagues remain tolerant of smokers," says Dione, "but some have definitely turned nasty and I'm wondering what the rest will do when the inevitable smoking ban and its punishments come into force."

"Will they report me to the smoking police and get me locked up?"

"Will my smoking friends and I have to find an Anne Frank-like attic to hide in until the madness is over?"

"Will a Schindler emerge with a list of smokers to save?"

"Should I start making plans to emigrate to cigar-loving Cuba now -- before the borders close and I'm trapped?"

"Think about it, folks, is promoting hate and fear the right way to go about changing behavior in others that you don't like?" asks Dione. "If the anti-smoking crusaders genuinely wanted to help smokers live a healthy, happy and long life wouldn't they be going about it in a more Christian-like manner?"

"Oh, oh, if they're not Christians then what are they? Buddhists? Hindus? Muslims? Atheists? White Supremacist? Communists?" asks Dione. "They can't possibly be Jews, can they?"

"I smoke because I like it and because in a free society I believe I have the right to do as I please as long as it's within the law and not infringing on the rights of others," says Dione. "When the sale of cigarettes is banned, my country will no longer be free and fit to live in and I pity the little boys and girls growing up without knowing what freedom is -- and what dragons and mammoths are."

"Dragons may be mythical creatures," adds Dione, "but even so it's nice to speculate that maybe dragons and mammoths became extinct because the animal world turned against fire-breathers and fatties."

Dione's story first appeared as fire-breathing dragon ladies and is reprinted with permission.

demonizing fatties (and others)

Having been raised with Christian values -- love your neighbor, no matter his sins -- and with sporting values about playing the ball, not the player, Opal (a happy fatty) is appalled at how governments promote the politics of hate in order to promote perfection.

"I don't like a lot of things that my fellow human beings do," says Opal, "but I am prepared to love them unconditionally at the same time as condemning what they do."

"If what they do is really evil and abominable then they should be locked up for life in order to protect the rest of us," says Opal, "but for everything else we must bear in mind that we live in a free society and must be tolerant of beliefs and behaviors that do not gel with our own."

"I don't like to see law-abiding citizens being victimized by government policies designed to make everyone hate them," says Opal. "You just have to look back in history to see how governments change policies almost on whim, according to whoever is in power and whoever is paying into their slush funds."

"Slavery is now illegal," explains Opal, "but for our ancestors it was perfectly legal and normal and when the abolitionists came along the hate they engendered was so terrible that a war was fought over the issue and many good lives were lost."

"Going back even further, we even burnt alive so-called witches," sighs Opal. "It's only a fine line that separates us from barbarism, and the guys in government know that and use it to their advantage."

"I don't believe the civil war entirely eradicated the slave-owning mentality any more than time has eradicated the witch-burning mentality, the anti-communist mentality or any other weird belief," says Opal, "yet with good government we've learned to get along together and agree to disagree without hatred and bloodshed."

"I've seen some wonderful freedom-loving events in my life so far -- civil rights, women's liberation and acceptance of gays," says Opal, "but in the last ten years, particularly, I've seen hate rear its ugly head where I've never seen it raised before and I blame the government for starting it."

"Take smoking and drinking for instance," says Opal. "I don't like these habits and to avoid people who do smoke or drink I don't hang around places where I'm likely to be offended by what they do. Same goes for prostitution, gambling and the gay scene."

"Avoiding these people doesn't mean I hate them or would spit in their face if I met one on the street," says Opal. "I'd treat them with the same civility I would any other law-abiding citizen -- because what they do IS legal."

"I'm learning, though, that being a law-abiding citizen is no guarantee for being treated with civility when the government targets you for a hate campaign," sighs Opal. "I've heard about the sort of hate campaigns that smokers and SUV owners are being subjected to, and now I'm wondering whether the anti-fat campaign is going to impact on me, too."

"I wonder how I'd feel if someone spat in my face because I'm fat," muses Opal. "I believe I'd have a hard job loving that person unconditionally while hating what he or she did, but I'd try my best to forgive them because they were only acting on advice from the government."

"The government isn't coming out and saying 'go spit in the face of every fat person, smoker, drinker and SUV owner you come across'," explains Opal, "but it might as well be saying just that when it puts out misinformation about health costs, pollution, global warming and that sort of thing."

"Before the banning of outdoor fires I remember my husband being accosted -- on our property -- by an irate environmentalist who was passing by and saw the smoke of burning rubbish," sighs Opal. "After getting over the initial shock of having our privacy invaded, we laughed about the incident, calling him a crazy, but it was a presage of what was coming next (the banning of outdoor fires)."

"Already SUV owners are complaining of having their vehicles or driveways defaced with hate messages by the crusaders," sighs Opal, "so what's next?"

"Will I be accosted in my kitchen one day by an irate anti-fat crusader who was passing by and caught a whiff of potato chips cooking in trans fat"? asks Opal. "Will a smoker be accosted on his patio one day by an irate anti-smoking crusader who was passing by and caught a whiff of cigarette or cigar smoke?"

"It's not just a case of being able to do something legally," explains Opal, "it's a case of being able to go about one's life in a law abiding manner without fear of being accosted by people fired up with hate inspired government misinformation.''

"It is abhorrent to put up with this sort of thing," says Opal, "and if anything should be banned it should be this type of hateful diatribe against other human beings."

"It would appear, though, that this is how the government operates when it wants to make a change in policy," sighs Opal. "First it puts out the misinformation -- some truths mixed in with a whole lot of untruths; then it encourages the hate crusaders to do their work -- some genuine souls mixed in with a whole lot of stooges; then it either makes small changes to the law (if it is a big issue, like alcohol) or it bans it outright, citing 'social pressure'."

"Hey presto! A perfectly legal and acceptable behavior one day is illegal the next," sighs Opal, "and law abiding citizens are turned into criminals. How's that for the effectiveness of the politics of hate?"

"The crazy thing about the politics of hate is that most people really don't care one way or another whether someone is fat, smokes, drinks, prays to Mecca or whatever," says Opal. "They accept the change in law because they believe most other people DO care and are offended by whatever the ban is about."

"When has a change in law ever been preceded by a plebiscite -- a people's vote?" asks Opal. "We assume that our representatives in government are acting in our interests, but are they actually acting in some lobby group's interest?"

"I can't see that taking away freedoms from minority groups makes my life any easier, especially when it's done so hatefully," says Opal. "I don't believe that backyard burners, SUV owners or smokers are more responsible for pollution than industries; I don't believe that trans fat is more fattening than any other fat; and I don't believe that my air conditioner is causing the glaciers to melt."

"Putting out all this misinformation and creating a climate of hate is not what I expect of my government," says Opal, "and I don't believe the other guys are going to be any better because it started with them."

"The goal of these hate campaigns is to make it as inconvenient and unpleasant as possible to do whatever legal activity we want to do so we give up and fall in with the banning of this legal activity," says Opal. "Hello? Are we living in a communist dictatorship or a democracy? Isn't our government supposed to do our bidding, not the reverse?"

"If something is truly risky then the proper reaction of our government would be to educate people about the potential dangers and allow them to make their own decisions," says Opal. "It has no right to spread hate propaganda and send its jack-booted crusaders out to invade private property and terrorize law abiding citizens."

"Our society was once one that championed freedoms," says Opal. "At the slightest sign of discrimination we would get out there and stamp it out. Now, we appear to be one that champions restrictions of all types, and this rot set in many years before 9/11."

"Is it because our new immigrants come from nations that don't have the same democratic values we do?" asks Opal. "Is it because the rich have become so rich that they think they own the country and can buy the government and dictate their own agendas? Is it because Christianity has declined?"

"One would think that if you come to a new country you do so because you like it's freedoms," says Opal, "and one would think that if you're as rich as Croesus you'd buy an island and get as far away as possible from the rat race."

"I have no idea how or why the politics of hate has become so fashionable," sighs Opal, "but I do believe that if more people were instructed in true Christian values there might be a less hate and more tolerance. Human beings in the Christian sense are imperfect, so any policy designed to make us perfect is almost blasphemous."