drunk as a skunk

Rhoda swore off alcohol many years ago after someone described her as being as drunk as a skunk and whenever she sees women drinking too much – especially women of high profile such as Sarah Ferguson, aka Fergie the Duchess of York – she cringes and wonders why they continue to drink when it is not just harming their health but ruining their reputations, too.

“I think the scariest health implication of too much alcohol over a long period of time is Alzheimer’s disease,” says Rhoda. “The prospect of liver and kidney disease down the line doesn’t scare anybody, but when you know every time you take a drink that it affects your brain and makes you do and say stupid things, then it’s a no brainer that alcohol is killing off your brain cells.”

“In her interview with Oprah Winfrey, Fergie denied being drunk at the meeting with the bogus businessman she was introducing to her ex husband, Prince Andrew, for a whole heap of money,” says Rhoda, “but anyone with brain cells can see from the secret tapes of that meeting that she was as high as a kite, if not as drunk as a skunk.”

“She could hardly string a sentence together and was all over the place,” says Rhoda, “and if this is how she behaves when she is not drunk – and being out cold is how she describes herself when she is drunk – then she has another huge problem to face on top of managing her weight and finances.”

“If she was conducting a legitimate business deal – as she makes out she was,” says Rhoda, “then she should have conducted it in an office, without alcohol, during business hours, with a third party present, like every other canny businesswoman does.”

“For goodness sakes,” sighs Rhoda, “Fergie didn’t even know the man she was doing business with, and she had dinner and drinks with him and then went back to his apartment.”

“If that isn’t stupid behavior – without all the other stuff that she is alleged to have done – then what is?” asks Rhoda. “And she cannot blame alcohol for a momentary lapse in judgment because just about everything this woman does is improper, and if she is a daily drinker then she is in total denial about the effect that alcohol is having on her mental faculties.”

“If she cannot give up alcohol as easily as I did,” says Rhoda, “then she needs to join AA and maybe make a legitimate career for herself as a successful spokesperson for that organization in the same way she did for Weightwatchers.”

See also:
Fergie’s Imaginary Friend

Will Fergie and Andy Remarry?

Marriage or Emigration for Fergie?

Mother of the Year?

Fergie’s chutzpah survival

what's next for Fergie?

How free is Fergie?

Oprah tops Fergie’s retirement pot

Fergie Flouts Family

Fergie and the global gravy train

Greedy Fergie!

Fergie smokes, so what?

Homeless Fergie?

Fergie’s £15,000 pa was a lousy settlement

Fergie’s menopausal mania

star struck Fergie

cashing in on the family Fergie style!

Fergie’s broken homes

Is Fergie reliving her childhood?

a foghorn for silent whispers

Sarah Ferguson’s Libran Balance

Age Secrets of Prince Andrew

Age Secrets of Sarah Ferguson

Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York

Greedy Fergie!

Unfairly dubbed the Duchess of Pork by the media, and subsequently losing a lot of weight and gaining a fortune (frittered away) from her association with Weightwatchers, Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, appears to have substituted a love of money for a love of food and this worries Rhoda – in similar circumstances as Fergie – because being greedy for food doesn’t usually get anyone in trouble with the law.

“My wealthy ex’s family set me up in a lucrative catering business as a divorce settlement and I’ve done very well,” says Rhoda, “and I feel sorry for Fergie because her divorce settlement apparently amounted to a paltry £15,000 a year – hardly enough to keep up the appearances necessary for the mother of the Queen’s grand-daughters – and with a weight problem to deal with as well as mounting debts due to her lavish lifestyle no wonder she ended up in trouble.”

“I think Fergie did a wonderful job on herself when she joined Weightwatchers,” says Rhoda. “She slimmed down tremendously and looked fabulous, but now I wonder whether it was the money she was amassing – and spending like crazy – that drove her to lose weight, rather than a desire to lose that horrible Duchess of Pork label.”

“If she was substituting money for food,” says Rhoda, “then now that she is facing bankruptcy as well as a possible fraud charge for the infamous ‘cash for introduction to Andrew’ scam the possibility is high that she may turn her greed back to food and start ballooning again.”

“I’m a Cordon Bleu chef – but of course I don’t do any of the food preparation myself in my catering business – and I love food, just like everyone else, but I am by no means greedy,” says Rhoda. “I tend to be overweight rather than underweight, but nobody calls me porky and I can imagine how damaging that label can be.”

“Judging from the filmclip of Fergie’s meeting with the businessman who was going to pay her £500,000 in return for an introduction to her well-connected ex husband,” says Rhoda, “I see a very greedy woman, so greedy that it is indecent, and if how she now treats money is how she once treated food then I fear that she will inevitably start stuffing herself silly once her financial affairs hit rock bottom.”

See also:

Will Fergie and Andy Remarry?

Marriage or Emigration for Fergie?

Mother of the Year?

Fergie’s chutzpah survival

what's next for Fergie?

How free is Fergie?

Oprah tops Fergie’s retirement pot

Fergie Flouts Family

Fergie and the global gravy train

Greedy Fergie!

Fergie smokes, so what?

Homeless Fergie?

Fergie’s £15,000 pa was a lousy settlement

Fergie’s menopausal mania

star struck Fergie

cashing in on the family Fergie style!

Fergie’s broken homes

Is Fergie reliving her childhood?

a foghorn for silent whispers

Sarah Ferguson’s Libran Balance

Age Secrets of Prince Andrew

Age Secrets of Sarah Ferguson

Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York

Fergie’s menopausal mania

Rhoda is a little older than Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, and while her own menopausal madness was not related to jet-setting and fraud, the common thread was an almost manic sense of self-importance, inviolability and invincibility.

“I run my own business and my menopausal mania was related to driving my staff crazy,” laughs Rhoda. “Fergie’s menopausal mania – which she must be experiencing at her age, 50 – is so much more scary because the eyes of the world are on her.”

“Apparently, she’s gone crazy as far as spending is concerned – refusing to scale back while debts pile up – and she’s jetsetting around the world at an alarming pace,” sighs Rhoda. “Last Friday she was in the South of France attending supermodel Naomi Campbell's 40th birthday party; earlier this week she was in London dining with a shady sheik; and then she rushed off to Los Angeles for a charity function, hounded by the press for the exposé of her monumental lack of judgment and class.”

“It’s true that Fergie suffered depression and was prescribed Prozac years ago, after her divorce,” says Rhoda,. “but as far as I know she is not on any medication right now and is simply experiencing the mania of menopause that is so common to women around 50.”

“I think she may also have been driving her staff mad, like I did,” laughs Rhoda, “because it was a royal associate who snitched on her to the News of the World, claiming she was taking money for arranging meetings between businessmen and Prince Andrew.”

“She was so manically full of her own menopausal self-importance that it didn’t occur to her that the sheik offering her a fortune to meet the prince was the same investigating editor, Mazher Mahmood – the infamous 'fake sheik' – who had previously tried to entrap the Countess of Wessex and Princess Michael of Kent.”

“On tape, Fergie gushed to the sheik: ‘I'm a complete aristocrat. Love that don't you? I love it. It's tremendously fabulous. But I've never admitted that to anyone by the way!’ and that,” sighs Rhoda, “just about sums up what I raved on and on about myself to my staff and anybody silly enough to listen to me when I was caught in the mania of menopause.”

See also:

Will Fergie and Andy Remarry?

Marriage or Emigration for Fergie?

Mother of the Year?

Fergie’s chutzpah survival

what's next for Fergie?

How free is Fergie?

Oprah tops Fergie’s retirement pot

Fergie Flouts Family

Fergie and the global gravy train

Greedy Fergie!

Fergie smokes, so what?

Homeless Fergie?

Fergie’s £15,000 pa was a lousy settlement

Fergie’s menopausal mania

star struck Fergie

cashing in on the family Fergie style!

Fergie’s broken homes

Is Fergie reliving her childhood?

a foghorn for silent whispers

Sarah Ferguson’s Libran Balance

Age Secrets of Prince Andrew

Age Secrets of Sarah Ferguson

Andrew and Sarah, Duke and Duchess of York