skin cancer nose drama

Your nose is the first thing people notice about you, and if you have a little zit on it everyone stares at it, if not comments on it, like Solace’s boyfriend did – what’s that on your nose? he asked with thinly veiled disgust at a small warty blemish on her pert little nose – and while his comments actually led to a diagnosis of something quite serious she could never forgive his attitude.

"The little wart had started off as flaking skin; there was no bleeding or discoloration,and it had probably been there for a few months before it became so noticeable that the guy I was dating commented on it," says Solace, 25, “and at that point I decided to do something about it."

“When you think of skin cancer you automatically think of old people who've spent their entire lives in the sun without protection," explains Solace, “so when I went to a dermatologist to remove what I thought was a little wart on my nose I was devastated to learn it was an aggressive basal cell carcinoma (BCC) that needed major surgery.”

"Had the BCC been anywhere other than my nose it wouldn't have been a drama," sighs Solace. "It was bad enough thinking I had a wart on my nose, but being shown a picture of the surgery I needed and what I would look like afterwards -- and being told of the worst case scenario, that the cancer could be so deep I could lose my nose -- made me so ill I went home and threw up."

"I'm a brunette and my skin is more Mediterranean than milky white so I don't even fit the typical profile of a skin cancer victim," says Solace, "and in challenging my dermatologist's insistence that even minimum exposure to the sun, even from a window, can cause skin cancer I failed to convince him that something other than the sun -- such as a virus or heavy exposure to a computer screen or even one of the cosmetics I use -- was responsible for my nose BCC."

"There is absolutely no skin cancer, or any cancer, in my family history," says Solace. "I have two older sisters and a younger brother and they have no skin troubles either --dammit, I don't even know anybody with skin cancer -- so there has to be something about me or my lifestyle that is to blame – and it is most definitely not sun exposure!"

"My mom was very particular about letting us play in the sun, not so much because of skin cancer but because of preserving our complexions," says Solace, "so I can claim, categorically, that I have never sunbathed in my life and had no reason whatsoever to fear skin cancer or any other disease, for that matter, because my mom was also totally against alcohol, tobacco and junk food."

"To be told I had skin cancer, then, was like being given a death sentence for a crime I hadn't committed and I was so sure that the dermatologist or the lab report was wrong that I obtained a second opinion," sighs Solace. "It was only with the affirmative second opinion that I was forced to face my cruel fate."

"My family were very supportive, but everyone else I talked to up to and after my operation was either dismissive or nasty, totally unable to put themselves in my shoes and imagine how they'd feel if it were their nose going under the knife," sighs Solace. "And my boyfriend made me feel like a leper or something; he was totally turned off by my diagnosis and acted like skin cancer was catching."

“After the operation, when I presented people with a Frankenstein's monster of a nose -- swollen, red, raw and stitched up with twenty or more stitches zigzagging the entire length of what was previously a very nice pert little nose they totally freaked out."

"It's amazing how many people I spoke to from then on actually knew someone who had had basal cell carcinomas removed from their backs, or their shoulders, or their arms --and said it was no big deal, it's not as if it's deadly melanoma, right? -- but they failed to realize that a BCC on a nose is very different in terms of psychological factors as well as the fact that there is very little skin on the nose and a deep cancer can actually lead to removal of the entire nose if not half of the face."

"These very same people -- including my boyfriend -- stared at me with disgust and horror after the operation," sighs Solace, "which just goes to show how important your nose is, and how normal it is to have psychological dramas about anything being wrong with it."

"Needless to say, my boyfriend stopped calling," sighs Solace. “Maybe it was silly of me to expect someone I’ve only known for a short time to support me through all this, but I was having sex with the guy and thought we had something good going.”

"I muddled through the first week as best I could, with mom's help and a lot of painkillers, and braved going back to work after the stitches were removed," says Solace, "but if I had to do it again, and there's a high chance of that with BCCs tending to recur in the same site within 5 years, I wouldn’t tell anybody outside my family, I’d take at least a month off work, I’d never set foot outside of the house while my nose was healing and if I had a boyfriend I’d dump him before he dumped me.”

"You see, it wasn't so much the operation that hurt me," confides Solace, "it was the attitude of the people around me, especially the guy I was dating."

"My dermatologist and the plastic surgeon who did the flap reconstruction were great, true professionals, who understood the gravity of the situation I was facing," says Solace, "but the nurses, unfortunately, were nasty to me, probably because they see this sort of thing every day and think it's normal, nothing worth complaining about -- until it happens to them, of course."

"They sent me home with a bleeding wound and told me to keep on pinching my nose to stop the bleeding," sighs Solace. "Huh? How was I supposed to do that with a massive dressing on my nose? And then, despite my protesting I knew nothing about dressings, they gave me no instructions about how to change the bandages, or how often, and looked at me with scorn for being squeamish and unknowledgeable about such things."

"So much for day surgery,” sighs Solace. “You’re in and out like you’re on a conveyor belt, there’s very little humanity and I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have my mom to look after me afterwards."

"Three months down the track, after massaging the nose twice daily with a special cream, the scars are still raised and a bit red, and my nose is totally numb," says Solace. "While makeup hides the defects somewhat, and nobody stares at me any more, I am still very self-conscious about being damaged and the thought of dating or going out scares me."

"There's no way, though, that I will ever seek a revision operation to make me look better," says Solace. "I have already had enough medical drama to last me for the rest of my life, and if skin cancer occurs spontaneously, as it appears to have done in my case, it would take another dire prognosis to get me under the knife again."

"Deep down I know that there is something very wrong with the current medical beliefs about the cause of skin cancer," says Solace. "Skin cancer is something old people get, not young people like me. There has to something other than sun exposure that is causing it in young people – computer screens, a virus, cosmetics?"

"Maybe my boyfriend was right about BCCs being potentially catching,” smiles Solace, “it may be sexually transmissible.”

“Maybe I caught it from him!"