female health matters

Personal stories about female health matters.

August 16, 2010

I am not a pair of breasts


So much of a woman's sex appeal is related to having breasts that Venus went into deep depression when she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 41 and, after a double mastectomy and lymph node removal under both arms, was left with an arm function disability.

"The breast cancer news hit my husband harder than it did me – so hard that he left me when I needed him most," says Venus, "but I was lucky enough to meet a new man, Lyle, a fellow cancer patient, pretty soon afterwards and he treated me lovingly as a beautiful human being rather than a pair of breasts."

"I was determined to live and beat this thing, and my kids were marvelous, they gave me no trouble at all and were little towers of strength."

"I had both breasts removed and decided against having plastic surgery or wearing falsies," says Venus. "By then I wasn't interested in my body image. I was just glad to be alive."

"Also, my breasts were never my best feature so it was really no big deal in the end to do without them."

“It was only after attending a local cancer support group – meeting people with severe disabilities from cancer treatment that I realized how minor my disability was,” explains Venus, “and it was at one of these groups that I befriended and then fell in love with a man who changed my life.”

"Lyle's prostate cancer treatment had rendered him impotent," explains Venus, "and if losing breasts makes some women feel less than a woman than imagine how he felt - he had lost his manhood!"

"Lyle was so concerned about his loss than he never paid attention to mine," explains Venus. "And this had a wonderful healing effect on me."

"In return - and I genuinely felt this way," adds Venus "it didn't bother me that Lyle was incapable of having sex with me in the traditional manner."

"We discovered that sex could be far more beautiful and lasting and satisfying without the need for breasts and a penis."



"I am not a pair of breasts," asserts Venus. "I am much more than that and I soon discovered just how right I was when I met Lyle.”

"There's definitely life after mastectomy," assures Venus, "and if I had to have my breasts removed in order to meet Lyle and realize how perfect I was - with or without breasts - then it has all been well worth while."

"I don't know whether Lyle and I will eventually get married and stay together," says Venus, "but right now he's the best thing in my life - apart from the kids of course - and I'm going to enjoy our relationship for as long as it lasts."


Read more about Venus:

  • cancer, separation then love
  • swim in a sea of love
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